Top Three Reasons Why A Man May Feel Insecure

We all have insecurities of some sort, but when it takes a toll on our relationships, it becomes burdensome.

You may have finally met the man of your dreams but he seems insecure and you cannot figure out why.

He may turn out to be defensive or sensitive and has answers/excuses for everything you suggest you both do. He may also lie to you about some things, thinking that if you know, he will let his ego down. This may end up affecting your relationship. These are signs that he is insecure.

Here are top three reasons why a man may feel insecure:

1. He has had a painful childhood past

Men hardly talk about their pain but display their ego as a form of defense mechanism to protect themselves. He may have grown up in an environment that made him feel unloved.

He may have watched their parents separate or divorce or even have brawls and exchanged words. This may have occurred repeatedly and he feels a form of rejection/neglect. He may also think the argument or fight was because of him. He may have watched his dad with different women or he had watched his mother try to get even with his (or serial date/cheated) which resulted in lack of attention or love from his parents.

Men typically tend to hold in emotions. He may not have had anyone to confide him or sought help to comfort him from all the pain of watching his parents' lifestyles. He has carried all the pain along into adulthood and has now developed lack of trust for any woman he comes to meet.

An ex-girlfriend or ex-wife rejected or cheated on him

Men do have emotions just like women, but try hard not to show that side of them, so they do not seem weak to women. Some men do not handle rejection very well. It either can awaken the ego in them (in defense) or can tear them further apart (especially if they have gone through the motions silently).

Not all men show or share what they are going through, except with only those very close to them, (the latter is may not apply to all men because men hardly want women to know when they are weak or vulnerable).

A man will entrust his all into a woman who meets and attends to his needs. However, when such a woman lets him down, he ends up becoming torn apart and feels betrayed.

He may sulk for days, may withdraw from the crowd, may go on a drinking binge or become a player. Due to the hurt, he carries and without seeking healing and forgiveness to move on, he starts to think every woman he comes across will hurt him.

It takes a lot for a man to entrust so much to a woman and when let down, he may struggle with the ability to ever trust one again. Such men may have also experienced childhood pain and the rippling effects of both resulted in the increased level of insecurity.

Lack of self-confidence and self-love

A timid man will always seem overly confident to feel accepted by others. He may lack self-confidence and may not have experienced self-love. This makes it difficult for him to trust anyone and may result in him needing constant reassurance of your feelings for him.

He may also hide behind his ego and when he notices that you are beginning to decode him, he starts to withdraw from you by asking for breaks at intervals in your relationship. Such men may have also experienced the first two reasons stated above which makes it worse. This may even lead to his not wanting to commit to a long-term relationship.

Ways to overcome these insecurities include taking the time to discuss all hidden issues from the past than avoiding them. Taking the time to deep and dive into each situation, healing and forgiving yourself as well as those who hurt you, will result in your gaining confidence and learning to trust again.

Spend time discovering who you truly are, love and develop yourself. Learning to trust yourself first and making yourself a bit vulnerable will help you overcome pain from the past as well as your fears. It is not an easy process but it is better than holding on the pain that has no gain.

There will always be someone to love you and not rushing or choosing to become a player, will help you move forward in newness and live the life you so deserve. Holding pain in memory can distort your thinking process and break you down further. The quicker you get help if you cannot do it all alone, the better and faster you are able to overcome. You can get help by finding trusted friends you can confide in or by seeking professional assistance.

[This material is copyrighted. Copyright © 2014, Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.]

Get support now! Email me or learn more about coaching.

Get My Books