How to Heal From a Heartbreak

Heartbreaks are hard to swallow and can take a toll on you when it happens. Imagine having been with someone you love and suddenly, everything becomes overwhelming when the relationship ends.

Heartbreaks don't only come from relationships. They also happen when we experience emotional trauma.

You will ask yourself the question, "Where do I begin?" so many times and sometimes, you won't feel like getting out of your bed.

Heartbreaks are conscious awakening moments that allow us to realize that we are losing ourselves. If we do not understand this, we end up shutting down and suffering silently.

Heartbreaks require that you take time to grief and heal. However, if you don’t do so, you will create an avenue for several narratives while reminiscing on the relationship.

To heal requires that you go through the stages of grief.

1. Denial and numbness:
   You will experience the freeze mode and become numb due to overthinking and overwhelming emotions. If you choose to accept what is at this stage, you will heal quicker and becoming stronger. Otherwise, you will experience stage 2-Outbursts of emotions.
2. Outbursts of emotions:
   You will go from anger to resentment and ask the “why” question so many times. However, you must understand that anger brings you opportunities to explore your role in the relationship and this should make you feel better when you start to connect the dots.
3. Separation Anxiety kicks in when you are trying hard to move forward but you still experience a flood of memories from the relationship. This may take you back to the first 2 stages or even one. You, however, have to make a choice to either get back up or stay down.
4. Stage 3 brings along the feelings of emptiness and loneliness. This is coupled with sadness and depression sometimes. You can get professional support to pull yourself out of this stage.
5. Accepting the truth. You can’t change the past so you must accept the truth in order to move forward in life.
6. Deduce and apply the lessons from the experience so you don’t repeat patterns going forward.

• It’s okay to move on, it’s okay to meet your needs, it’s okay to love and understand yourself first.
• It’s okay to grow and evolve.
• It’s okay to invest in yourself.

Accepting this truth will allow you to begin your journey and evolve into the best version of yourself while understanding your relationship goals, core values and requirements.

Always remember:

"If you don't love yourself, you won't be happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You can't give the love you do not have. You can't love anyone from a place of pain/trauma...including yourself." - Kemi Sogunle, excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright ©2014. All Rights Reserved.

Ready to embark on the healing journey? Schedule a complimentary session with me to get started.

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