How Unhealed Childhood Trauma Affects Relationships

Childhood trauma can significantly affect a relationship whether it be romantic or mutual. It can also contribute to why you may find yourself in rebounds or repeated patterns when it comes to dating.

Unhealed childhood trauma usually resurfaces in our adulthood in many forms. What we don’t heal from later comes to haunt us as an awakening that we need to heal.

Unhealed childhood trauma shows up in adulthood/relationships in many ways:

Projection - This can be in form of anger, disappointment, rage towards the partner. It can be intense based on fear and comes due to the struggle of our minds and bodies trying to cope with the stress and emotions.
Control - Unhealthy emotional way of manipulating the partner to stay or as a form of threat due to fear and this leads to us betraying ourselves while trying to hold on to the internal struggles we suffer from.
Lying - Using lies to make a partner believe us and as a mask to cover up the shame and guilt we feel within ourselves. Lying to ourselves to hide behind the trauma/pain we don’t heal from.
Gaslighting, Stonewalling, Triangulation - Unhealthy coping mechanisms used to project our trauma/pain on others and cause conflicts among others.
People Pleasing – To have others accept us while we lose ourselves and hide behind the pain.

“Pain and love cannot be in the same space. You can never love anyone in pain. You cannot truly love yourself in pain. The more pain you carry in your heart, the harder it becomes to love anyone including yourself.” ― Kemi Sogunle, “Beyond the Pain.” Copyright © 2014. All Rights Reserved.

Healing from childhood trauma allows you to forgive yourself, embrace and find your truest self, receive the grace we need to become empowered and understand your own emotions as you come to own the truth that liberates you from trauma/pain.

Ready to begin your healing journey? Schedule a complimentary session with me or learn more about coaching programs I offer.

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