12 Things a Couple Must Do to Sustain Their Relationship

Relationships are simple yet we complicate it when we don't take the time to know and understand each other.

Every relationship is unique and sustaining the relationship requires work from both parties involved.

Here are twelve things every couple must do to sustain their relationship:

• Love, trust and respect each other.
  Loving your partner requires that you first love yourself so that you can give the love you have without expecting anything back in return.
  Understand that you need to love yourself to be happy with yourself neither will you trust and respect yourself or your partner.

“If you don't love yourself, you won't be happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You can't give the love you do not have. You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.”  - Excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright © 2014, Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

Read this: The Difference Between Falling in Love and Loving Someone.

• Share core values and life vision.
  Core values are deal breakers. It is vital that you share core values that keep you grounded in your relationship.
  

• Communicate effectively and efficiently.
  You must learn to communicate effectively and efficiently with yourself and your partner. Know when you should be a listener without judging and when to provide guidance and support that can help your partner and your relationship grow (and vice versa).

Read this: 7 Must Haves in a Healthy Relationship.

• Be honest and keep no secrets.
  Be honest with yourself and with your partner. Keep no secrets and tell no lies. Honesty is an attribute of love and if you truly love yourself as well as your partner, you will make honesty a virtue in your relationship.
  

“Honesty is one of the key elements to a great relationship. If you cannot be honest with your partner, stay single.” - Excerpt, "Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart." Copyright © 2014, Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

• Understand that your partner cannot meet all your needs and you will have to be able to meet your own needs.
  It is important that you learn to meet your own needs and your partner does the same. Otherwise, you will become codependent on your partner and when your partner cannot meet your needs (based on set unrealistic expectations), conflicts will begin to arise that will put a strain on your relationship.

• Be patient with each other.
  Patience is an attribute of love and requires that you treat your partner as you want to be treated (the golden rule). Understand that you both will need time to handle and process some things in your relationship and rushing will not always yield the best results.
• Support each other’s goals/vision and growth.
  A partner without goals or vision cannot support your growth and progress. This is why you have to ensure that your goals and vision align and you can be each other's strength to carry each other through down times.
• Never compare your relationship with other couples.
  Comparison is the stealer of your joy. Every relationship is unique to the couple and comparing your relationship with others will only result in more unresolved conflicts. Understand that no one can be like you and your partner and it takes effort on both parties to make the relationship healthy and a success.
  

• Have separate “me” time.
  Ensure you spend time alone to evaluate your life and take a break. This allows you to also accomplish some of your goals and regroup if needed.
  
• Set time aside for date nights.
  Date nights are great opportunities to rekindle your love for each other especially when you have children or a busy schedule. Take time out to travel, have a picnic or a candle light dinner to add spice and romance back into your relationship.
  
• Resolve conflicts without holding back or holding on to grudges.
  Unresolved conflicts or grudges can ruin a relationship and create an unhealthy atmosphere. Take time to hold healthy discussions and address issues. Ensure you do not hold back or bring up already resolved issues that may escalate conflicts and destroy your relationship. Be willing to listen and allow your partner to express himself/herself before responding.
  

• Leave third parties out of their relationship.
  A relationship is a two-way street between two people. Don't take your relationship to other parties who will add gasoline and light a fire to your relationship. Speak to each other than to others.
  

Be committed to building each other up and praying for each other daily. Let your love grow deeply as you see your partner as yourself and allow yourself to learn as much as possible from each other. Let your relationship grow you as you build better, stronger and wiser for a lifetime.

Schedule a complimentary session with me to learn how to attract and find the right partner if you are single or learn how to build a solid foundation for a healthy and long lasting relationship as a couple.

This material is copyrighted. Copyright ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

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