What is Your Love Language?

Love languages are based on unhealed childhood emotional pain/trauma. Without recognizing this, you will seek for love in the wrong places and create transactional relationships.

If your love language is words of affirmation, you are looking for a partner who will speak the words you never received as a child to you. The moment your partner no longer affirms you, your childhood pain/trauma resurfaces and you begin to feel unloved once again.

Acts of Service

If your love language is acts of service, you played the role of the caregiver at a younger age which often leads you to people please to feel accepted and valued. You find yourself feeling easily depleted and empty when you are not playing the caregiver role. This is because you have developed those coping mechanisms that resulted in you walking on egg shells and people please.

Receiving Gifts

If your love language is receiving gifts, you did not receive gifts as a child and those things you have always wanted as a child, have become what you want to receive from a partner. The moment your partner stops giving you gifts; you start to believe that you are no longer loved.

Read this: On Becoming Restored.

Quality Time

If your love language is quality time, you were deprived of quality time with your parents or caregivers. You did not receive the attention needed and that has created a void in your life. The moment your partner stops giving you quality time, you start to think your partner no longer loves you.

The fear of abandonment begins to show up reminding you of the things you need to heal from.

Physical Touch

If your love language is physical touch, you did not receive affection as a child and this made you feel unloved. Your partner continues to shower you with affection and physical touch but once these stops, the void returns and you begin to think your partner no longer loves you.

Healing and Inner Work is What You Need

Without healing from the inner childhood wounds/trauma, you will continue to seek for love in the wrong places and look for a partner to fulfill the needs in the form of your love language. You will become codependent and disappointed. You will only build on transactional relationships that are not healthy.

Inner work is very much vital to you become the love you wish to attract. The Purposeful Relationship Inner Circle provides you with resources to heal from those childhood issues that become obstacles in your way of finding true love.

I invite you to join the circle and learn how to become the love you wish to attract, heal and find yourself, rebuild your self-esteem and regain your confidence. You will learn how to develop healthy habits and create a conscious lifestyle that will bring you inner peace and love for the rest of your life.

Understand that:

You will not need anyone to affirm you when you know your true self.
You will not need gifts to be used as a replacement for true love.
Physical touch alone cannot make you feel happy or whole.
You will get depleted easily when you are serving and will end up people pleasing to feel accepted or loved.
If you don't spend enough quality time with yourself, you will always feel a deficit.

You have to understand and find yourself, love yourself deeply and become whole. The moment you do, you will not rely on anyone to obtain a love language but will be committed to healing yourself and becoming the love you wish to attract into your life. Always remember this:

"You cannot give what you do not have. You can never love anyone from a place of pain including yourself, excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright © 2014, Kemi Sogunle All Rights Reserved.

Love starts with you. The love you have is the love you will attract and give without expecting anything in return.

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