Why Dating Red Flags Are Often Ignored or Unrecognized

Dating red flags are sometimes hard to recognize or easily ignored depending on where you are with yourself emotionally.

Having unhealed emotional wounds make it harder to recognize dating red flags especially when you are feeling abandoned, rejected unloved or lonely.

Imagine you just met a partner who told you things you had longed to hear as a child. This person has just validated everything that was invalidated in you. You begin to quickly trust them without understanding that trust is built over time and is not something you can rush.

You barely know him/her but the fact that those words you were never told are now being heard from someone who you believe at that point, cares about you.

This is a complete stranger that you barely know but makes you think you are all he/she wants. The void you have seem to have been closing up since you met and the mere words make it seem surreal just like in Disney fantasies and stories.

Being unconscious of the emotional wounds you haven’t healed from makes you gullible at this point while accepting words that may not match up with actions.

"Dating is a vetting and sorting game where you evaluate the partner based on your core values and relationship goals...it is not a romantic relationship." - Kemi Sogunle

You have to understand that:

• Knowing and understanding someone takes time (at least 6-9 months).
• You won't have to rush a relationship if you are both healthy.
• Your focus should be on friendship first.
• Your relationship should be vetted based on your requirements, values and goals.
• A healthy partner will not serve you with red flags but make his/her intentions known.
• Emotional wounds will cloud your judgement and decision-making abilities.

Without healing and becoming consciously aware of yourself, identifying your relationship goals and meeting your needs, you will be prone to ignoring or unrecognizing dating red flags (while abandoning yourself to who/what you think is love and trauma bonding with who you believe is the one).

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