Signs You Are Attracted to a Narcissist

Have you ever wondered why you are attracted to a narcissist and wondered if you could find out earlier in the relationship if you are dealing with a narcissist? You may be dating a narcissist and wondering if something is wrong with you or if you are the cause of conflicts in your relationship.

Here are some signs to watch out for:

1. Strong attraction on your first date. You feel a very strong attraction because the narcissist is quite charming, has a great sense of humor and makes attempts to quickly win you over.
2. You get asked a number of intrusive questions on your first date and your partner will not stop digging into your past. These questions range from why did your past relationship end to how many sexual partners have you had? Your date will not give up but makes you believe that it is part of getting to know you better.
3. The narcissist does not accept your turning down another date but wants to seduce you back and does this to win.
   I have personally experienced #3 while dating a narcissist. I decided as a compassionate person to take the narcissist back but the tables turned on me. Do not to make an attempt to take a narcissist back or let him/her convince you with any statement or gift. The narcissist will never respect your boundaries and always wants to dominate and deplete you.

4. The narcissist will make attempts to devalue you and look for ways to set you up to fail. The narcissist’s goal is to make you uncomfortable and manipulate you throughout the relationship.

Here are some things you should do to protect yourself:

1. Set boundaries and learn to stick to them. Narcissists do not like boundaries and will try to cross over but you have to make sure you take your stand so that you do not lose yourself.
2. Stay focused on your positive qualities and love yourself deeply.
3. Save your sensitive and empathic side for good people who recognize your goodness. Never make an attempt to argue with a narcissist. You will never win!
4. Do not let the narcissist use your emotions against you. Learn to say no to things you will not tolerate so that you do not settle for less than you deserve.
5. Cut off contact with the narcissist. Do not attempt to answer calls or respond to text/email. You will be drained if you keep contact and become emotional unstable.

The narcissist has to be willing to get help to heal and find himself/herself. The narcissist has to understand that what broke him/her does not have power over them and ego is a false persona they live behind. You cannot help the narcissist. Remember that it is about finding what works best for you first.

“The love you have is the love that you can give. You cannot give what you do not have. You cannot love anyone without loving yourself first. The love that you have for yourself will set the love you have for every relationship including friendship.” – Kemi Sogunle

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