Checklist Items to Consider Before You Say I Do

Almost all of us want to get married but keeping and staying in a marriage is not an easy task. It is very vital you ensure that you and your partner truly share values, love each other as individuals before loving each other as a couple and you both are ready to commit to each other till death do you part.

Here are some items you must have checked on your list before saying I do:

Do you both share values?

Are your values the same with your partner’s values? Are these values in line with your needs? Does your partner meet your standards? These are some of the questions you need to (truly) ask yourself. Do not get emotional to go into marriage but be ready to face it knowing you are in for the right reasons.

Have you grown since you have been in your relationship?

Your relationship should help you grow not make you compromise and feel less worthy than you have always been. How has your relationship changed your life? Thinks and seriously consider this before venturing into marriage. Your relationship should move you forward and not backward. If you feel less confidence about yourself than you were before the relationship, you may want to opt out and wait patiently for the right person to show up.

Are we on the same spiritual level?

Are you and your partner spiritually inclined or are you just going along with the flow? Your spirituality should not change because you are in a relationship. You both should actually become spiritually stronger together. This is one of the essential things to consider when thinking of getting married.

Are you babysitting or care-taking?

Are you babysitting or acting as a caretaker? Do you have to (constantly) tell your partner what to do and how to do things or do you both discuss and come to an agreement? Relationships are not one sided. You both have to be there for each other. If you find yourself babysitting, or care-taking, you may need to re-evaluate your relationship to make sure you are willing to do so for the rest of your lifetime together.

Do you both trust each other?

How much trust do you have for yourself as an individual? How much trust do you have for your partner? Do you both trust each other deeply? Trust is a very important part of a relationship. A relationship without trust is no relationship at all.

Do you truly love each other?

Love requires you to be selfless, among other things, with each other. Ensure you both love each other and it is not infatuation or lust. Lust and infatuation come with an expiration date but love does not expire.

Do you both enjoy doing the same things?

You and your partner should enjoy doing similar things together. If you find out that your interests differ, you should make sure this would not affect your relationship after marriage. You both may become bored or someone may get tired and venture out to cheat.

Do you accept each other’s flaws?

Your partner should be able to accept you and your flaws without having to change who you are. If you have to change to please your partner then you may want to take a step back. A relationship should never require that you change who you are to please anyone. Learn to be true to yourself always and the one who deserves to be with you will accept you just the way you are.

Do you communicate well with your partner?

How well do you both communicate? Are you able to resolve issues amicably without blowing off the roof? Make sure you can communicate easily and hold conversations together. Marriage is hard work and communication is key to keeping your marriage intact.

Are you both compatible and share chemistry?

Your partner should be a reflection of who you are. You both have to make sure you are compatible and share chemistry. Compatibility and chemistry are two essentials to consider before saying I do.

Are there warning signs you are ignoring?

You may have noticed some warning signs exhibited by your partner but you shrug your shoulders and ignore them. Make sure you pay attention to details so that those do not come back to bite you.

Do you know your partner’s family and medical history?

Make sure you know each other’s backgrounds (family) and medical history. This is necessary to make sure you are ready for whatever will come and can tolerate and accept things the way they are.

Bottom-line: Be sure you are in your relationship for the right reasons and not just because you want to get married. Rushing into marriage with someone who is not compatible, shares values and chemistry, loves and trust you can totally break you apart. Make sure communication flows easily and you can both be there for each other through thick and thin. Do not be in a relationship for what you can get but be in a relationship for what you both can bring to the table and share with each other willingly. Marriage is like a garden of roses with thorns. You have to be able to weather the storms and cross the ocean for each other always. Make it last forever by learning to wait for someone who deserves you and you also deserve to be with. Always remember it is all about “till death do us part.”

(Excerpt, "Being Single: A State For The Fragile Heart." Copyright ©2015 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.)