3 Things You Need to Stop Doing While Dating

Dating has significantly changed from what it used to be. Dating is supposed to be the discovery phase of your relationship.  It is the time when you figure out whether you are both compatible and complement each other. It should help you decide if you both will be good candidates for moving towards courtship. However, many get this phase wrong and may become hurt/broken in the process.

"Dating is a game of vetting and sorting, which enables you to sifter through and find your ultimate match/partner for a lifetime relationship." - Kemi Sogunle

Here are three things you need to stop doing when dating:

For Women:

Stop trying to play the ‘wife’ role

Your primary focus should be getting to know and understand each other. Not trying to make yourself the wife at the beginning. You have to understand that cooking, cleaning and doing so much for will make him take advantage of you. A man is created to chase a woman and men know this very well. If you allow him to pursue you, you will give him the opportunity to know your worth and know the qualities you bring to the table.

Do not get me wrong. It is okay to help him once in a while but do not make it your duty while dating (it will also lead to you thinking that you have found 'the one'). You do not want to be perceived as desperate. Slow down, evaluate and build on the friendship. The more you know and understand your partner, the better you can determine if he will meet up with your requirements.

Stop acting as if you are his mother

As a woman, you naturally have motherly instincts. Those tend to kick in when you are in a relationship. However, you cannot play the role of his mother as this will drive him away. Focus on learning more about the man in your life. Figure out if you both will be a good fit. Remember, he is a grown man. Learn to treat him like one and accept him for who he is not what you want him to be. Listen more to him. The more you do, the more you will understand him.

He is your boyfriend not your father

Do not ask him for the things you will ask your father. A man who loves you will be willing to provide what you need without you asking. Asking him for things will make him lose respect for you. You do not want him to use you based on whatever he provides. Present yourself as an asset to be valued not an item to be consumed.

Give him the reasons to love, respect and treat you right.

For Men:

Stop treating her like an item

Men are usually physically and sexually attracted to a woman at first sight. They know the women they can test drive and the ones they can be in a healthy relationship with.

"Sex is a ultimate way to a man's heart. However, as a woman you should not lose the value of your jar." - Kemi Sogunle

You can test drive a car and take home one with a bad engine without you knowing immediately. Learn to value the woman in your life. Stop treating her like an item/car when she is worth more. Sex is not the only determining factor in a relationship. Do not exploit her for your own selfish gain. Get to know and understand the woman, figure out if she is ‘the one’ and learn to date her properly. Learn to exercise self-control.

Stop disrespecting her

It is easy for a man to disrespect a woman especially if he was previously broken and has not taken the time to heal. His pain oozes out frequently and this leads to him disrespecting the woman in his life. You have to learn to treat her as if she is your sister or mother. Respect her and speak to her in a tone that show you do.

Women are to be loved not used.  You both need to discover and understand each other. You are trying to learn if she will become your potential partner. Do not come up with excuses and reasons to justify your action of treating her less than she deserves. If you are not ready for the commitment she is looking for, communicate it to her in a respectful manner and let her know exactly how you feel and what you think.

Stop playing games

"A man knows the woman who his heart belongs to." - Kemi Sogunle

If you figure out she is not a woman who your heart belongs to, do not to play games with her. If you know you are not ready to date but want to play, let her know your intentions. Do not try to manipulate her or lie to her for your own selfish gain. Loyalty is a vital part of what keeps a relationship going stronger.  Be a man of your words and actions not a man who hurts or plays on a woman. Let her know how much you love/value her and are committed to the dating stage. Let her know if you discover your relationship is not going any further. Communicate your message in a loving and friendly manner. Do not just disappear and leave her in the dark.

"Every choice you make, comes with a consequence that you will face. Always remember, the world is indeed a small place and the person you mistreat today, may be the one you will need tomorrow." - Kemi Sogunle

Get to know and understand each other, figure out the compatibility not the commonalities. Start with friendship and let that lead you to evaluating your relationship to see if you can move forward into a long-lasting romantic relationship. The more you spend time getting to know and understand each other, the easier it becomes to determine if your relationship will move towards courtship or remain on the friendship level.

 Learn how you can find, attract and have a long lasting relationship that will make your life become better than bitter. Enroll in the 12-Weeks Purposeful Relationship Mastery Program to learn how to build on a healthy and purposeful relationship that will last a lifetime.

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